What is the hardest part of Ironman? Reflecting back on journeys past and the friend who had the audacity to call me out on my fears.

I remember that first day back from Panama City Beach in 2012, standing in the elevator at work a person in my building noticed my IM Florida Finishers jacket. He asked me, "So, what was the hardest part?" while pointing to my jacket.

I turned to him, smiled, and replied "Signing up."


I never would have been wearing that jacket if I did not start.  And believe me when I say that it takes the most courage to sign that piece of paper and hand over your $700+ non-refundable entry fee.

Do you know why there are so few Ironman finishers in the world?  At IM Florida in 2012, they celebrated the 500,000th individual finisher of the Ironman races.

That is a lot of people in general, but that is over multiple races world-wide in all of the then 30 years of the branded event.  The reason why it took 30 years to hit half a million Ironman finishers is simple.  

The fear of the unknown.

If I look over what I personally overcame to find that courage, we must rewind even further to 2011 when I stood in line for hours to put down the money and sign the dotted line that started it all, I recall one particular question on the registration form. 

Do you have any sensitivities to sea creatures?

Those who know me or have ever swam in open water with me know that I am afraid of fish.  Even little tiny nibble at your dead skin cute as a button fish.  The thought of swimming in the ocean period, let alone 2.4 miles honestly gave me pause.  And not even going to lie, I remember questioning my decision right up to the moment I got into the Gulf on race morning. 

Not only did I survive that swim (and dare I say had fun in the crazy 3' swells we had) I went on to return to the ocean to swim in it and in races in it for years afterwards. 

Even last year as I stood on the balcony overlooking the Gulf with my sister in law, we saw 7 sharks swimming around the week prior to our race, and every time we watched in fear for those who were swimming towards their presumed demise... the sharks all moved away from the swimmers every single time. 

That helped settle my nerves before the race and I was able to fully for the first time ever enjoy looking for sea creatures on my race day swim!  I saw a pod of dolphins, a shark, many other random fish and not once was I afraid.  

If we rewind even further than that day to long long long before my dreams of Ironman would come to fruition, I had a dream to be able to look into a mirror and love myself. To see myself as worthy. Valued.

I used to think of Ironman as for the exclusively uber-fit athlete.  I never looked like them.  Coming up in my triathlon life, I looked around at my teammates and friends who were all Ironmen and they had one thing in common in my eyes - they were crazy fit.

Ironman is not an exclusive sport for the uber-fit man.  Now, we can not say that Ironman is not an exclusive sport - there are sure some barriers to entry, but that is not the point I am discussing here.   I shied away from attempting Ironman for years because I compared myself, an over-weight out of shape quasi-athlete to those powerhouses on the podiums or the Champions at Kona. 

I was afraid that the woman I was was incapable of what it took to cross the finish line.  My dear friend, Ranger the Kool-Aid main David Potter pulled me aside one day after a swim at Trout Lake when he and another friend were discussing signing up for Ironman Florida in 2010.  He told me something that has stuck with me, and was even integral in not only my achievement of my dream, but starting the journey I am on today - and that was 

it is not who I am at the start... it is who I will be at the end of the journey that matters.

 

I attempted to argue with him, but if you knew him you know that was a futile endeavor as he always had a way of believing in the impossible - which was a word that I do not even think was in his vocabulary.  He told me "Hey, why are you discounting yourself before you even try? Just do it." 

That was Potter. Calling me out on my self-depreciation. God I miss him. This time around is going to be very different without him. 

Thanks to Potter, I realized that my ability was not the concern. I have the ABILITY to do anything that I put my mind to.  

So do you.  

So if you are reading this, and are thinking about a big dream you have but have a million and one excuses why you cannot, ok awesome.  Let me give you the ONE reason you can. 

BECAUSE YOU ARE CAPABLE and anything is possible if your why is bigger than your why not.  

If you why is big enough the how will happen. 

Because someone called me out on my fears I had the courage to realize my dream.  I found happiness in my flaws.  I stopped seeing myself as a body and started seeing myself as a person. A whole person.

Never give up, but more importantly have the courage to START.