Full Circle: A Decade of Ironman

 

I went from saying to myself that I would never be able to do an Ironman, to having KONA Legacy goals.  Ironman had become such an integral part of who I was; not by definition rather by lifestyle, by showing me that I am worthy and able, that anything is possible if you put your mind and body to it. 

The truth is that I have been struggling the past few years, ever since I was injured in 2019 at IMTX.  The medical DNF hit me in a way that I was not expecting. Until that point, my only DNF ever was my first Marathon where I was battling a mental demon and had allowed external influences to cast doubt and mental exhaustion upon me.  

I had promised myself that I would never DNF again. 

You know what they say:  never say never!  I was so excited to toe the start line again later that year at IMFL, however, going into the race I was injured with a hip/glute issue and my fears of falling short of time became a reality when I had yet another medical - this time on the bike -which resulted in another DNF. 

I started to truly doubt my abilities - I was an Ironman.  This was not my first year of racing.  I had put in the training - what on Earth was holding me back?   

I honestly have not really mentally recovered from the disappointment of 2019 until recently.  During the pandemic, while others were sharpening their skills and getting Ironman ready - I deferred.  I deferred all of my races as I am still dealing with an injury from 2019. I deferred IMTX 2020 to 2021 to IM Indiana 2021 toIM70.3 Muncie 2021 to Ironman Maryland 2022.  I deferred Ironman Florida 2020 to IMFL 2021 to IMFL 2022.   

The reality is that I should just take the hit as I have paid the fees 3 years ago now and being unable to run means that I likely will never be able to do another triathlon let alone Ironman.  I kept deferring as it was allowing me time to heal.  To recover mentally.  To plan what the future means for me and to reassess what I want it to mean to me.  I took the space deferring has provided me to look deep inside and mourn properly to loss of an activity that I love - running - and not to see this as something cut short.  Instead, I am ending it all on my terms.  

I forged myself in Iron on 11/3/2012 - and on 11/5/2022 I am retiring with a planned DNF.  I will swim and bike my heart out, but running is still not an option to me at this time and instead of walking away I am going into the day looking forward to having a freaking blast enjoying being a part of the best party that Florida can throw!

If Ironman Florida 2012 was my Iron Graduation day... then Ironman Florida 2022 is my Iron Retirement party. 

So what lies ahead for Seashell?  Ultra Endurance cycling adventures with my husband, and plenty of Aquabike/Aquavelo events to keep me busy!  So many triathlons from sprint to Full distance and beyond have Aqua Bike options, so my multisport racing days are still very much ahead of me.  I already have Bike Sebring 100 mile, National 24 Hour Challenge, and plenty of ultra distanced swim and bike events to look forward to!  Now that the run is out of the question - my new "Kona" big scary goal is the triple Anvil Aqua Velo event, a 7.2-mile swim, followed by a 336-mile bike leg.  Hey crazy doesn't quit - you just find new crazy!  

I will always be IronSeashell!